Active listening

Are you an #activelistener? I must admit I have to work at that. I am often a selective listener…so I’m told by my family! 

Archie, our Maine Coon cat, can certainly teach us some lessons in #activelistening – he can react quickly to the rattle of a dreamy box, despite appearing fast asleep. Here he is pictured ‘pretending’.

I am delighted to be working with CHARIS CONSULTANTS LIMITED on a Board #executivedevelopment programme with a public sector client. This week we ran a workshop on developing trust and understanding of each other.

Research suggests that teams that know each other, who often discuss non-work topics, who identify shared interests, have authentic connections and are more likely to be #highperforming. At our workshop we worked hard at getting the team to share something about themselves; their values, their motivations and what makes them tick.

As part of an exercise in authentic conversations, I took them through a focus on active listening.

❄️. The initial ice breaker was around asking the team to draw their motivations and explain their illustrations. Drawing – What a great way to challenge them into thinking a bit more deeply about their own motivations. From their feedback, they all learnt some surprising things about each other. Thank you Dave Cass for the idea.

The active listening focus was on the 3 A’s.

1️⃣. Attitude – have a positive mindset in conversation – if you are going into a discussion bored then it’s obvious you are – the face, tone and attitude gives it away.

2️⃣. Attention – full attention – clarify lack of understanding – use all the visual cues of eye contact, nodding head etc…but don’t overdo it. I used a clip from the US Office where Dwight does overdo it! A funny clip but effective.

3️⃣. Adjustment – be prepared to change, adapt, and adjust mannerisms in order to follow the speaker’s train of thought.

We facilitated pair discussion, with each discussing their objectives and the listener practising active listening skills – clarifying – tone of voice and more. They gave each other feedback not on what the describer said but how the describer felt they were listened to – the body language – cues – tone etc – of the listener.

I was a little concerned that this session might be considered a bit light weight, but the overwhelming feedback was how valued their conversations were. This senior team rarely have an opportunity to take a deep breath and get to know each other – they are constantly in firefighting mode. I am confident that whilst the firefighting doesn’t become easier, by knowing each other better and with active listening to understand each other’s concerns then they will be a more resilient and effective team.

The positive thing for me was how genuinely values driven they all were – the same broad set of motivations, for a common good. Striving to achieve similar things.

Then we moved onto sympathy and empathy but that’s another discussion for another post.